The decision

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted. Things have been busy and I've been agonizing about what to do for school next year for Seth and Taylor. After many conversations with Josh and conversations with friends along with a lot of prayer, we've decided to send Seth and Taylor to public school next school year. Now, to all my homeschooling friends, before you start posting comments on my decision, it is my hope that I can homeschool again in a few years, I just don't feel like this is the right time. This decision was not made lightly and was extremely hard. Homeschooling is in my heart, I've wanted to homeschool since Seth was 2 years old. Seth is doing fine in homeschool now. However, at this stage in my life, I feel like I cannot give Seth and Taylor the attention that they need for me to homeschool effectively. Along with Seth and Taylor I have Scott, who decides to whine and fuss during school time and demand my attention, and then I have Ethan who I'm constantly chasing so he doesn't get into something he's not supposed to. He likes to pick microscopic pieces of paper and lint (and whatever else is small) off the floor and try to eat it. It doesn't matter if I've just swept or vacuumed, he'll find what I missed. I'm also not getting a lot of sleep because Ethan is still waking up in the night and doesn't nap well. Also, I've been a bit more stressed since I began homeschooling, although I think it was just because I put so much pressure on myself to be the perfect teacher. I think that having Seth and Taylor in school to learn the basics and then to homeschool in a few years makes sense. Seth learned to write in school even though he already knew how to read. I feel like Taylor really needs the classroom experience and structure next year and will learn the basics of reading and writing at school. What I want to do in homeschool will be much more appropriate when they get a little older and I don't have to work around a baby and a toddler and nap schedules. I want to visit places like Washington D.C. I want to study advanced subjects and read great literature. I want them to pursue their own interests also. For now, though, I want them to have that classroom experience and to do all the fun things that you do in kindergarten and first grade. I need to concentrate on being a mommy to Scott and Ethan and to do things with them like take them to the park. I admit that part of me feels like a failure for sending them back next year. I know that lots of moms homeschool who have little children also. I feel selfish for wanting to spend that extra time with Scott and Ethan. Part of me feels like I failed Seth by taking him out of public school in the first place. However, I do also feel confident in my decision and am going to be involved in my children's education and make the most of the public school experience.